Observations from the Poop Deck

More Conversations with Audrey

2011-06-23T16:49:00.000-07:00

In the store recently:

Audrey: [Picture Audrey's arms around my neck] I love you mom!
Me: I love you too.
Audrey: I'm going to miss you so much.
Me: Where am I going?
Audrey: Will you marry me?
Me: This is getting very Freudian

***

In the distraction and fury created by the talk I had to give in sacrament meeting, I missed some important details...
Audrey's and my conversation as I realized she was walking into the church foyer carrying a plate with a ginormous cinnamon roll and a fork.
Me: Audrey, you may not carry your breakfast with you into Sacrament meeting.
Audrey: But I'm hungry!!!
Matt: This is so embarrassing!!
Me to Nathan: You handle this. I'm going to sit on the stand.

***

Me: Audrey, your skin is getting so brown for summer!
Audrey: I don't want to be brown! I want to be beige!

Conversations with Audrey...Part 1

2011-06-23T16:43:00.001-07:00

This is how Audrey feels about her new Tinkerbell toilet seat. And toilets in general, I'm afraid.

Audrey does not enjoy potty "training." Once she realized that it is not an actual train she gets to ride, she's been quite resistant. Our most recent conversation about it:

Me: How about we wear undies today?
Audrey: No
Me: You're a big girl now. [3 yrs. 7 months, and 5 lbs lighter than her 7-yr-old brother]
Audrey: I'm NOT a big girl! I'm not a teenager.

Mrs. Sippi

2010-04-10T23:35:00.000-07:00

Emma asked me yesterday if she could google "7-8 year boys whose last name is Sippi." She wanted to find one to marry so that she can be "Mrs. Sippi." Just say it out loud, you'll get her drift...

Tonight I asked Audrey for a kiss. She sweetly grabbed my chin, looked in my eyes, and said, "No thanks."

Dates that Don't Count....Part 234

2010-03-22T00:57:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been complaining about how Nathan gets to go on lots of yummy power lunches while I'm at home eating Power Bars. So tonight he "treated" me to dinner at the Walmart deli counter.

Images I never want to forget - part deux

2010-03-15T11:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in primary Ry was chosen to come up front and play the rhythm sticks during the chorus of a primary song. He stood there quietly holding the sticks, so darling in his button-down shirt and corduroy pants, with his belt wrapped around twice to keep them up. And then when the chorus of the song came, he unleashed the beast! He banged those rhythm sticks so furiously that every teacher in the room giggled. I never want to forget him up there with his face as red as his hair as he beat those sticks to a pulp, to the chorus of "Follow the Prophet."

"I'm also available for weddings and bar mitzvahs..."

2010-03-15T11:03:00.000-07:00

So the other day I heard insane noises coming from outside. (Oh - and I also heard every dog in a 1-mile radius barking and howling.) I finally discovered Ry on my master deck putting on a concert for the neighborhood. He'd dragged Emma's karaoke machine out there, got himself up on a chair (not the safest thing he's ever done, but not the most dangerous either) and was doing witch cackles, etc. with the microphone on full blast and maximum echo. And yes, he was in his pajamas.

Mini Me

2009-09-25T12:45:00.000-07:00

I think Emma has officially become more like me than I am like myself. Uh, whatever. What I mean is that she does a lot of stuff to me that I remember doing to my mom. Her newest thing is writing me notes. (I know I wrote you some doozies. Sorry, Mom.) Here are a couple of her recent ones, original spelling and all:

"I burlie can breath and my lieft eye hurts and my nose. Emma."

"Dear Mom. I'm glad your my mom. I sorry abuot all the mishif I made and all the fighting and all the mad stuff and the thing I did today. Love, Emma."

I had to include this photo because it shows another habit Emma and I share - wearing our sister's clothes. She organized this photo shoot of herself, wearing Audrey's dress as a shirt. I wasn't too thrilled about my 7-year-old borrowing clothes from her sister who is not yet 2, but I gotta give her props for at least making sure she had "sleeves."

2009-09-25T12:38:00.000-07:00

One morning recently Ry Ry had the garage door clicker and closed the door on my car as I was backing out. I heard the door crash on my car roof and yelled at him to stop and give me the opener NOW! He thought he was in big trouble and began to whimper, as I angrily assessed the damage to my car. Then I peeked in my rearview mirror and saw him buckled in his carseat. There was my darling five year old – red hair, freckles, his spiderman outfit sticking out from under his elastic-waist jeans…. And I crumbled.

I pulled him into my arms for a love.

When I asked him why he had the clicker, he told me it was because he didn’t want his blanky to get stuck inside the house. Then we discussed all the ways we could get his blanky out of the house, even if it was locked and the garage door was shut. His five-year-old logic was so tender. I should have guessed it was about his blanky. This is the boy who doesn’t let me wash it without him giving it a kiss and a hug.
I am not tooting my own motherhood horn, but I am so glad I was able to see through the frustration to realize what was really going on, when he shut the garage door on my car. Just a sweet little boy who wanted to make sure he could get back to his blanky

Oh please be a visit from the chocolate fairy

2009-04-07T16:53:00.001-07:00

Today I walked into Audrey's room and found all over her and her crib what could only be melted hershey bar or a diaper disaster. Since I was pretty sure I hadn't put her to bed with a Hershey bar, I prayed it had been a visit from the chocolate fairy. Of course, no such luck. Hello Hazmat!

Why are we shopping here???

2009-02-13T20:33:00.001-08:00

Emma and Matthew have both been asking me to get them some skinny jeans. I'm not a big fan of that look, but they have valiantly worn hundreds of Children's Place clearance rack outfits, and they deserved an update. Plus, I know what it's like to want to be like the "cool kids." So I packed everyone up and we headed to the mall. We found ourselves in Tillys, (see photo above for an idea of what kind of gems you'll find in the store.) and I tried in vain to navigate the racks with stroller, diaper bag, and wiggly baby and toddler in tow. Literally, I could not get my whole gaggle to the back of the store where I needed to be. So I stranded my stroller in a random spot towards the front of the store and dragged all the kiddies to the back. If that wasn't enough of a spectacle, at that point Nathan arrived to help me out. He walked into the store and rhetorically asked everyone in earshot "WHY ARE WE SHOPPING HERE???" I guess I hadn't made him aware of my mission to help the kids up their cool quotient.

In the end, I think I was succesful. And if the skinny jeans didn't do it, I"m sure the family shopping trip did the trick.

Tillys aside, what am I supposed to do with these pwe-tween kids? It's so much less complicated to care for a baby. I know how to change diapers and hug squishy tummies. It's these gangly limbs and complicated emotions I don't know what to do with.

Things Ry says that should never be taken out of context:

2009-02-02T12:06:00.000-08:00

As we were reorganizing his room: "Well Mom, where am I going to put all my weapons?" He wasn't kidding. He has amassed quite an assortment of old water guns, pirate swords, and ropes fashioned out of belts, that he carries around with him as his weapons. He does not like to separate his collection and so has to have a large space in his room to store everything.

As we were getting out of the car at his friend's house: "Wait. I want to put on my fairy shoes first." He was wearing a Peter Pan costume and wanted to have the full regalia on when he greeted his friends. I should note that this is a girl's Peter Pan costume but we've never wanted to tell him that the skirt bottom is actually a "skirt."

Just call me "Dream Killah"

2009-01-26T19:20:00.001-08:00

Today Matthew and I had this conversation:

Matthew: Mom, can I come out of my room at 3:30?

Mom: No, 4:00.

Matthew: Gosh, you really know how to kill a person's dreams.

The Newest Sugar Snap Girl is....

2009-01-23T19:09:00.003-08:00

.....................................................................Emily Turman! She's a cutie in her
polka-dot daisies.

Petunia Pigtails is now Sugar Snap Sisters

2009-01-10T21:41:00.000-08:00

Because a certain diaper bag company owns the word "petunia," Petunia Pigtails has now become Sugar Snap Sisters.

Check out our new etsy shop at sugarsnapsisters.etsy.com.
We'd love to know what you think.

Oh Snap!

2009-01-10T21:38:00.000-08:00

Naomi looks adorable in her Sugar Snap daisy!

D.J. Audrey

2009-01-07T22:23:00.000-08:00

Here's Audrey, spankin' the tables. (I don't know any DJ lingo, so I made up my own.)

You gotta love this "4th child" outfit. I don't even know what color these jammies were originally.

I'm not proud of it, but.........

2009-01-01T15:23:00.000-08:00

I listen to the Jonas Brothers when I'm working out. I have to just get this out there becuase I'm always afraid people can somehow tell what I'm listening to on my ipod. So now, all you ipod stalkers, I beat you to it. I listen to Burnin' Up and it pumps me up!

Matthew's new vocabulary

2008-12-15T22:24:00.000-08:00

Matthew said a very naughty word to me tonight. And he used it correctly, I might add. With that off my chest, I will now share some clever things he's said recently. Last night in tithing settlement he told the Bishop: "I know a way you can get more tithing from me. Tell my mom to raise my allowance."

One evening he was asking about what bows I've been making lately. I complimented him on his bow vocabulary and how he knew all the terms to use. He corrected me and said it was his "bowcabulary." Cute guy!

"Is there a pineapple in there?"

2008-12-15T22:21:00.000-08:00

I should have realized before we left the house, how ridiculously ginormous Audrey's flower was. But it didn't hit me until our friend at church asked me if there might be a pineapple in there somewhere.

In my own defense, when you have such a pumpkin-headed child, a shrinking violet headband will not do.

"Ooooh,...that's saucy. I wanna flower hat, too, Daddy!"

2008-12-10T20:28:00.000-08:00

I'm giving a shout out to Grant, Petunia Pigtails' number one fan.

Audrey says: "Hair is Overrated!"

2008-12-10T14:39:00.001-08:00

Me smart

2008-12-05T13:08:00.000-08:00

Yesterday morning I volunteered in Matthew’s classroom. Here’s what went down. Outside my brain: Ms. Torres, “Mrs. Hilbig would you work with these kids on double digit multiplication.” Me with a big smile, “Sure, come on guys.” Inside my brain: Total panic. “What the heck is double digit multiplication? What is multiplication? Did I even go to fourth grade? Where am I?”

Anyhoo, I used a little ingenuity and asked Brendan to show everyone (and I meant everyone) on the white board how to do double-digit multiplication. Problem solved :).

Um, Hi.

2008-12-03T21:42:00.000-08:00

So, um, I guess this is my blog. Here goes...
Today my darling cherubs decided to wash the driveway. They ran in and out of the garage door to report on their progress. It kept them busy so I was quite thrilled about it. Later, not so much. I discovered tonight that they had washed it with about a hundred water bottles. So if anyone would like to come eat dinner off my driveway, it's fresh as a mountain spring.

Since this is my very first post, here's a little summary of our family.

Matthew (almost 10). Oh my. When did we go from Matchbox to Xbox? Last week as he ran off to school I yelled in my best casual, cool-mom voice, “Love ya.” After several attempts to get his attention, he finally turned around. I thought maybe I’d get a little wave. Nope. “I heard you” was all I got in reply. Better than, “Doubt it,” which is what I got last week.

Emma (6) is alternately my big helper and my big complicator. She likes to attempt all baby-care tasks, particularly when I’m not looking. Once I found her with an enormous pile of used, poopy baby wipes. Emma was just changing Audrey’s diaper. Five-year-olds changing diapers somehow brings to mind absentee crack mothers and siblings raising siblings. I promise that’s not the case here…
Recently, Emma wet her pants in the car. Not in her carseat. Oh no. She dribbled all over the driver seat. I had to drive home from the grocery store perched on top of a sleeping bag hoping that it, instead of my skirt, would soak up Emma’s little accident.

As if Emma doesn’t keep life exciting enough, I also have Ry Ry (4 1/2). Leaving Great-grandma Wayment’s house after our last visit, he yelled out his car window, “Hey Grandma! You’re not died yet!!”
At the UPS Store a few months ago he knocked over a portion of their counter. (How in the heck???) It literally fell to the ground and on its way gashed an overpriced box they were trying to sell me and also slammed into an A/C condenser unit. I quickly said, “Oh I’m sorry,” grabbed my two children and my picture of Jesus that I was trying to buy a box for, and hit the road before they could charge me for the box. Or the A/C unit.

And then there’s my precious Audrey (One year old!). She is such a calm baby. They’re all precious, actually. She just happens to be the only calm one.